It’s hard to believe three years have gone by. It’s been a lifetime and an instant. It’s been an adjustment that will never feel right. But, we’ve done as you wanted and we’ve tried to move forward. Some days have gone better than others. Some weeks better than others. And, in some cases, we had to take it minute by minute.
I’m getting to the point where I can focus myself on the good times before the bad. I can think of our daily calls and texts without crying. I can think about our summers just sitting around talking without feeling the crush of loss. I can think about all the times you told me you loved me without feeling utterly lost.
I’m also doing my best to work on those areas of my life you always hounded me about. I think you’d be proud. I’m taking more downtime. This was the first summer in my career that I am working less. However, I haven’t mastered the art of just relaxing as you were always stressing to me. I’m a work in progress.
I so wish you were here to experience first-hand all the wonder that is your granddaughter. She is witty, smart, sweet and sassy, and just overall a beautiful little soul. You knew that though. I just wish you were here to see her. I miss the times you used to call just to hear her babble. Oh how she can talk your ear off now.
We’ve had some major hurdles since you’ve been gone. But, we’ve done as you always asked and stuck together. I made you promises and will always keep them. Family first no matter what.
I promise we will keep moving forward. We will honor you by living the fullest life we can just as you always wanted for us. Please keep sending those little signs that I know are from you. The feathers in unexpected places, the red cardinals that love my neighborhood and the strong presence I sometimes feel. They keep me going, remembering and give me a little smile and reassurance.
I love you, Dad. I miss you. I always will.